Kev's Blog

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Story So Far...

So I've been in New York for a few days now. I'll give a quick summary of the things I've seen and done so far:

An early rise got us on our way to the airport. While queueing we agreed that for the duraion of the holiday there should be no mention of "durka-durka" or anything to do with planes crashing. Also, it was every man for himself. Duty free gave us all a chance to start stocking up on essentials for the trip. We got a bottle of:
  • Vodka,
  • Jameson (12 year old)
  • Kahlúa
  • Jagermeister
  • Galliano
  • Rum
The plane journey was a pleasant affair, some sleapt, some watched "16 Blocks" and some drank. Alan championed himself. For this he was awarded the first Golden Pint award of the holiday.

When we arrived we decided to forgo all advice telling us to get the subway and we opted for a limo instead. It was cheaper that two cabs and seemed the right way to start off the bands first tour of the Americas. Some Kahlúa was drank in the limo. We got to the gaf okay, although the limo driver thought we were taking the piss when I aked him to go to 1 Main Street, Brooklyn! It was was more than we could have hoped for.

We quickly made it into the closest bar (in the same building - "Bubby's") and had some pints of Guinness, which lukily were 2 for 1 at the time. We soon realised though that there are two kinds of luck, and this promotion wasn't the good kind. We had fries and went upstairs again. Moe and Rob went off to see Clerks 2 and we spend a long time trying to find them in the baking heat, wandering randomly around town and eventually finding the cinema just in time.

While waiting for Moe and Rob to arrive we dropped into a local Pizza establishment. This decision should have been thought through fully before execution. Two enormous pizzas that must have been made from 94% testicle sweat arrived. We took most of it in a doggy bag to the nearest bin on the street to ensure that they didn't try to sell our leftovers to anyone else.

It turns out that I had lead us all to the wrong cinema. We went back to Bubby's for some beers that night where the atmosphere wasn't exactly freindly (as Moe was down about $40 for the cinema tickets he bought us). People generally just went to bed but Simon and I stayed a little longer. When Simon went to bed I found a small Irish type bar around the corner called The Water Street Restaurant. They serverd a full Irish size pint and it was quite nice. A little less substance to them though than in The Grove (the worlds greatest bar). Hit the hay after one there.

On the Saturday we walked the Manhattan bridge. I spent some time sorting out getting equipment for the band from www.sirny.com. They didn't have exactly all the desired equipment so we ended up with two Gibson SG's and a respectable 5 string bass. Some people looked up nasty porn and others just chilled with a beer.
  • Trash bar and Syllian Rayle - Excellent show, I was too drunk.
  • Times Square - TGI Fridays, "The Irish Bar", Simon and the "$20 Hospitable Ladies". Attach photo of Simon.
  • Helicopter Ride - Little disappointing.
  • Museum of Sex - Enlightening
  • Empire State building - Porfishicken in the Homeland Brewery.
  • Coney Island - Corn Dogs, an amazing performance in Karting, Cyclone rollercoaster and shooting ducks in a barrel
  • 5th Avenue - Fish Bait (excellent ribs!), searching for bars
  • Greenwitch Village - Chelsea Hotel, $24.46, CBGB's, Slainté, "Festering" pizza
  • The Gaf - Toilet incident, Robs freinds (rather forget)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I like your music, but Id be much more proud if you'ld tearLet me a new asshole.

Let me die please,

To this day I've thought I've know where I'm at and shit, but no. I'm already talking shit, so I'll go.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

How to shit an Apple

Tomorrow begins it. I've kinda been telling myself it's not going to happen, but it is. What a foolhardy thought I now know. Stuck in the guts of thing I will be tomorrow, and I'll have to drink my way out. I fucking can't wait!

There quite a reasonable chance that they'll spot us attempting to enter their country in which case I'll have to do what I've so often done before, and deny all knowledge of my freinds. Ross is hoping for a nice cavity search (as it's been a while since he flew to the states and he misses them). He's probably going to have trouble getting back into Ireland actually, as easy as it is, becuase he'll have a hard time trying to convince the authorities that his new wife IS ACTUALLY a woman. Moe will probably be okay, and as the sensible one will probably be looking after us ... hopefully pulling us out of any ambulances that try to steal us at dead of night. Simon's been very quiet of late and I think he may explode in a burst of repressed party. I think Simon is the most likely to wake up with his trousers around his ankles at the base of the statue of liberty.

Anyway, gotta cut this short cause I gotta go to bed.

See ya over there.