Life, liberty & equality for all in An Irish Bank

So here I am sitting at a computer in work, I've been surfing the internet solidly for a good 2 days now waiting for a reply phone call from some bugger in England who doesn't seem to know the international dialing code. I'm bored, I'm hungover, I'm cold and I've got a pain in my throat from smoking too many fucking cigars in Whelans last night. Will the situation climb or plummet today? I have a sneaking suspicion that it'll be the latter.

Got Burke's birthday thing to go to tonight .... yay .... I need that like a cripple needs a climbing frame. Seeing all the same people every day I go out is getting to me. Don't get me wrong, I love em all but it all seems so God damn predictable. My life, that is, is skipping. Deeply scratched and asking to be turned off. Just gotta find some way to nudge the needle. Did I think ten years ago that I'd be in this mess now? Yes. I knew it even then, well, at least it's not a surprise. I could even say things have picked up since then I suppose (note: slightly less gloomy sentence here). Anyway, the grass is always greener...

On a lighter note I think I'm probably going to die on Sunday. Massive liver failure, throat cancer, fire-ass, heart disease or some lovely combination of all will take me down in a blaze of glory, I'm sure of it.

Snout & Rectum: this has been the topic of conversation of recent days. It sounds very promising (as I'm sure you'll agree) and a lot of work has been put in to getting both the Snout and the Rectum just right. Moe is very happy with both, but Ross I hear isn't happy with his Rectum, although Ross is never happy. He says it's just not right yet and he's not willing to stand on stage and show it to the world. I think it's just shyness, he's been out of the limelight for a long time now, and recently he's been struggling with chronic IDS (Imminent Death Syndrome). Yeah, God just shat on Ross, and Ross just doesn't think his Rectum lives up to anything at the moment. He just can't shit back.

The annoying thing is that Syllian Rayle are so much better than Dead Girls & Boys, but I know they're not going to go anywhere. They need a kick in the ass really to get them seriously gigging. There doesn't seem to be the same enthusiasm as there used to be or as there currently is about DGAB. Syllian Rayle is just happening by default and effort on Moe's part but the others don't seem to give much of a shit about it. This annoys me greatly.

Some good words:

• supercool
• vagina
• antidisestablishmentarianism
• ubiquitous (dictionary.com's word of the day today)
  

I'm gonna try to get the photo below on the wall in Whelans, the one entitled "Who did that?". I think as a regular, a sponsor, a trendsetter, a public attraction and a general swell guy I deserve it. There seems to be some debate about this matter though, and I think I may start a poll about it on boards.ie or something. Pakie doesn't seem too keen on the matter ("It's not that kind of wall Kev") and either is Lorchan but the three D's: Damien, Donnchadh and Dorota are of the same mindset as me. I think I'm gonna have to go upstairs on this one. Please feel free to leave a comment as to your opinions on this matter, if anyone reads this shit I'm saying.

Tuborg: Would you believe I found a way to drink Tuborg better? Well you'd be wrong, cause I have. It's called a bottle and it's made from glass. €23.99 for crate from Dunnes and 2 crates to make you happy. Also ordered my Tuborg t-shirt a few days ago and it should be arriving soon. SHIT! Looking for that link I just found another one! I'll buy that too, it's better.

One of the strange things I find about this working in this place is the fact that they have these "Work Against Racism" posters all over the place. "ITD is committed to making our workplace an anti-racism workplace". I applaud the idea of it but it's a pity they don't have these posters in the HR department cause there is not one single member of an ethnic minority working here, for fuck sake I've only seen one northsider!

"Congratulations,
If you can read this information, you have correctly installed your hp Laserjet 1300 PCL 6 on ENT-INTEGRAL."

Now there's a misplaced comma if I've ever seen one.

So what am I gonna do about this whole situation with the week after next then? Got Pixies and Kings of Leon on Tuesday night, Weezer Wednesday, the usual debaucher on Thursday and then my brothers wedding on Friday. I assume there's gonna be some bone crunching beer related activity on Saturday too. If I do somehow survive till that Sunday, I think I'll give up booze forever. My subconscience pulled me aside for a little chat there the other day while I was asleep. It said "Kev, for fuck sake, what are ya doing? I mean this is just childish. Fucking grow up will ya?" but I don't want to grow up. Far from it.


The moral of these stories is: If it hurts, take it out of your ass.

Kev